So, how did I go from an anxious, curious, newbie domme to the mean sadistic evil greedy bitch I am? The truth? The mean sadistic evil greedy bitch lurked in the darkest parts of myself, but whenever she tried to jump out, I fought her back and pretended she wasn’t there. The journey that started in the Spring of 1997 when I decided to explore the world of bdsm included months and months of struggling with that bitch who fought to get out. Eventually, I learned to stop fighting her and honor her needs and personality. I embraced those dark parts of myself and claimed the title of “mean sadistic evil greedy bitch” proudly.
Of course, that still doesn’t answer the question of how I got from there to here. Well, it all started *gasp* online. Yes, I was an “online domme” for over a year before I ever attended a real life bdsm group. I was already on IRC frequenting pagan channels and I made a conscious decision to go first to sex channels (where I had my first “domination scene” with a male and female) then the bdsm channels. I made friends, found links to resources, read a few books, and had a series of relationships. The first were strictly online, then slowly phone contact became a part of it until, eventually, I met Moon and found myself not in an “online” relationship, but a “long distance” one. In the three years that I’ve been a “real life” domme, I have only had a few training relationships (one online). That’s if you exclude the relationships aready in existence in August 1998, which all ended in the following six months. Moon, and Siku and Anne as well, helped me determine what I wanted from a D/s relationship and now I won’t settle for less than that. So it may take me awhile longer to find it.
This section of the site contains the archives of those key relationships. I also plan to convert some of the other files from my old website into pages in this section. Taken all together, it will show most of my journey from A to B–or at least from the fall of 1997 to early 1999 when I started my Perceptions section. Once I started that, I neglected the rest of this site. And, given that I wasn’t in any relationships once Moon broke up with me, I didn’t really start any new sections either. Still, there’s information on online relationships, the rules I used, a running history of my evolution as a domme, that sort of thing.
Pages that are not dated were most likely written prior to 1999.